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‘Hillary should’ve smiled more,’ says voter choosing between her or a deranged murder clown

HILLARY Clinton should have smiled more during her speech, according to a man who may now vote for a demented orange clown instead. 

US voter Joe Turner believes that Clinton should have tried harder to connect emotionally with the nation she is attempting to save from total collapse under a megalomaniac reality TV star incapable of understanding facts.

He continued: “I agreed with every word she said on policy and there’s no doubt she’s got the experience, but the warmth wasn’t there so I’m still considering my alternatives.

“On the one hand, Donald Trump has a record of bankruptcy, would nuke Iran in a fit of pique and his eyes seem to be screaming ‘Let me out! This is a mistake!’, but on the other Hillary seems a bit stern at times.

“I might go for the unhinged tangerine-coloured candidate with cotton candy hair who lies about being a billionaire instead. Sorry Hillary. You had your chance.”

Turner last influenced a US election in 2000, when he voted for a Harvard-educated recovering alcoholic because he would be a great guy to go for a beer with.

Baby named after Pokemon sure to have a great life

A BABY girl named Eevee after a Pokemon Go character will do incredibly well in life, scientists believe.

Parents Leanne and Wayne Hayes, who chose to call their first child after a rabbit-eared fennec in a game they have been playing for two weeks, have actually given their daughter a significant advantage over her peers.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Whether your child is called Khaleesi, Bella Swan or Whaazaaaaap!?, studies show that children named after fads achieve grades far higher than average.

“The many 11-year-olds called Crazy Frog are outperforming all their contemporaries on SATs, Cambridge University is expecting a record influx of Cartmans, Furbys and Mmm-Bops this year, and 22-year-old biotechnologist MTV Unplugged Unwin is revolutionising the field.

“The Pidgeys and Squirtles of today will lead nations, solve the climate crisis, and set foot on Mars for the first time. Salute them.”

Proud mother Leanne Hayes said: “Eevee’s a lovely name, that’s all.

“Though we’re calling her by her nickname, Sparky, so she’ll evolve into a Jolteon.”

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