Dear Holly,

I’ve been secretly wearing my wife’s lovely, silky underwear. It was all fine until I had five pints and a curry and sharted during Match of the Day. Shall I just put the thong back in her drawer and hope for the best? She’s quite short sighted.

Hank

Milton Keynes

Dear Hank,

Even if you want something really, really badly, it’s not a good idea to try to take it without permission. I know this because I once borrowed my big sister’s diary to use for my school book review without asking her. Whilst it’s fair to say that the entire class were totally captivated by the gritty tales of my sister’s irregular menstrual cycle and strange obsession with Claire Balding, I have to admit that she herself was rather less impressed. In fact, she decided to change her identity and move to Belgium.

Hope that helps!

Holly