Politics Headlines

THE Tories admitted there was no way they could have won the Eastleigh by-election as their opponents were either mired in scandal or completely insane.

SENIOR Liberal Democrat men are to change the way they dress and act because they have become too sexy.

DAVID Cameron is close to winning a £1 bet with Boris Johnson that he can annoy every single human.

NICK Clegg has basically resigned from everything he does.

DAVID Cameron has unveiled his vision for the Little Society, consisting of the residents of Chipping Norton.

AN alleged conspiracy to unseat former chief whip Andrew Mitchell could go right to the heart of absolutely nothing, it has emerged.

GEORGE Osborne will today blame Britain's economic woes on a time-travelling politician from the year 2044.

BORIS Johnson has demanded a version of Europe that came to him in a dream.