Society

ANYONE with Christmas decorations still up tonight will probably die, experts have warned.

A SON has toppled his father as head of the family after eating more than him over the festive season.

AN UBER driver has still not managed to complete a journey which began in the early hours of this year.

FOURTEEN people have been injured by a man's attempt to wrap Christmas presents.

A DANGEROUS local thug is confusing people by wearing a Santa hat and being less threatening, it has emerged.

A MAN has borrowed a DVD from his friend knowing full well he will never return it.

DRINKING alone does not deserve its bad reputation, according to solo drinkers already on their second bottle of wine.

A PUB quiz team treated the event as if it were lighthearted fun, it has emerged.

BRITAIN’S rail companies have declared all out war on anyone travelling at Christmas.

A VISIONARY who has seen through all the sentimental dressing to the cold, capitalist heart of Christmas is telling everyone to wake up.