Society

DAVID Cameron has revealed that residents of demolished council estates will be re-housed in a vast network of underground tunnels.

A HUG became creepy after going on too long with an element of hair-touching, it has emerged.

A SUPERMARKET queue is becoming unbearably tense due to a shortage of dividers.

A CANADIAN co-worker has been sharing annoying stories about how much colder it is in his home country.

A NEW meal delivery service from Jamie Oliver also includes instructions on how to live a good, conformist life.

A WOMAN from Cornwall thinks it is a nation of some kind, it has emerged.

A GROWN man has revealed that he is still too cool to put both of his bag straps over both shoulders when out in public.

UNSUCCESSFUL Lotto players have complained about the arbitrary way the numbers are drawn.

THE last man in the UK to describe sexual intercourse as 'having it off' has died, aged 78.

GCSE COURSEWORK dates are to be moved to allow pupils enough time to eat all their Easter eggs.