Politics Headlines

AFTER Keir Starmer’s busy weekend rearranging deckchairs, it’s hard to know who’s who in the shadow cabinet and if you’re shadow secretary for transport.

HARTLEYPOOL is a smashing little seaside resort, a true jewel of the north-west. Here’s an unprompted article detailing what I love so ruddy much about it.

TOMORROW, Labour will lose a parliamentary seat they have held for 60 years. And, why f**k about, I will accept that it is all my fault.

UK residents outside London have agreed that Laurence Fox is exactly the kind of prick that Londoners deserve to have as mayor.

BORIS Johnson’s personal mobile phone number has been public since 2006. You’ve probably missed the chance now, but here are five texts you could have sent him.

COLUMNIST Sarah Vine has defended the Downing Street flat redecoration, saying the PM should not ‘live in a skip’. However, this is someone who shares a bed Michael Gove. Which would you prefer?

ARLENE Foster is stepping down as leader of the Democratic Unionist Party, which means an awesome leaving do with her fundamentalist Christian colleagues. Here’s what they have planned.

MAKING your flat nice is incredibly difficult if you don’t have between £58,000 and £200,000 to spend. Could you do it? Take our quiz and find out.

WORRIED Britons have realised that current attacks on Boris Johnson could be a prelude to even worse wanker Michael Gove replacing him.

DIPPING into Tory coffers to redecorate his flat is just the latest scandal that won’t trouble Johnson. He’ll also walk away untouched from these five.